The Secret of Iris (Pt. 1)

The sound of clanging bars, angry whispers, and grunts replaced the sound of my parents' voices. Most children have their first memories being a trip to Grandma's house or jumping off the diving board for the first time. In my case, that was the illustration of me, my 12-year-old half-brother, my stepmom, and my dad in a van speeding down the street with the sounds of sirens echoing in the distance.

My story begins with my mom and my dad—my birth ones at least. Mom met Dad through some friends. Dad got kicked out of the college Mom went to. I have no clue how Mom became involved in a party with alcohol, smoke in the air, and just pure chaos, being the wallflower she was. After a long night of insanity, Mom and Dad hit it off and one thing led to another. They stayed in touch, but for the most part, they considered it a one night stand. A few weeks afterward, Mom knew she was pregnant. Dad tried to get her to get rid of it, but she wouldn't. Her parents found out and abandoned her completely. She couldn't afford school anymore, didn't have a job, didn't have a house, and was all alone. That is, except for Dad. He's a jerk, but not that much of a jerk to leave his child's mother in the dust. So, he did the bare minimum and asked his ex if she could spend a few months living with her. Luckily, she said yes and took her in. Dad checked in on her about once a month until her water broke while he was at a party. No matter the number of times she called him and left him messages, he was too busy with other girls—including my stepmother. We'll get to her in a minute. Dad's ex that was taking care of Mom named Liz took Mom to the hospital and stayed with her as she gave birth to me. Mom and Liz both chose to name me Iris after my grandma. Dad showed up the next morning to a brand new baby girl. Although Mom was upset, she couldn't refuse to keep Dad away from me. He instantly fell in love with me, but I suppose that love wasn't strong enough to conquer the liquor.

Mom and I lived with Liz in her two-bedroom apartment until I was 3. During this time, Dad got married to my stepmom, Claire. When he was 18, my mom's situation also occurred to Claire. She had a son who she named Sammy. The night that I was born was the first time Claire and Dad had talked in 8 years. On my second birthday, my dad married her and I gained a half-brother. Mom refused to let me go to the wedding, no matter how much I begged. Although it was just a ceremony in Claire's backyard with about 20 friends, I still wanted to meet my new brother and stepmother. I then lived for another year without even knowing my dad's wife and my own brother. It bothered me at first but became second nature after a while and I came to the understanding that my life was to be lived separately from theirs.

Suddenly, on a cold night in June, I felt a breeze come over myself as my bedroom door swung open. By this time, I was 4-years-old. I didn't understand much but I knew that my mom wouldn't be coming into my room in the middle of the night. I noticed the flicker of a flashlight come to life and move around the room until it aimed at my face. I covered my face with my tiny fingers.

"Iris, sh..... Don't say anything..." a calming voice told me from behind the light. "It's Daddy, it's okay..." the man whispered as he got closer and sat on the edge of my bed.

I removed my fingers from my face and looked up. I could barely make out his face from the little bit of light. He'd changed since I last saw him several years earlier. He'd grown a beard and wore leather.

"I want you to come with your new mommy and I. Oh, and your brother." His face lit up with a smile. I'd never seen him smile before. "This is a new beginning for us, Iris. We want you to be a part of our family. We'll go to a nice, pretty city and you and Robbie will go to school... We'll live in a nice house and you'll grow up happy! Doesn't that sound nice?" he whispered in a bright tone with his eyes widened.

I paused. "Mommy?" I asked. He couldn't imagine me forgetting about the woman that raised me while he was messing around.

His expression faded and he frowned. "Your mommy," he pointed to my mom's room, "is a bad lady. She doesn't want you. But I do." He pointed to himself. "What do you say, kid?"

His words broke my heart. My mom didn't love me? Had this all been a lie? I was thinking so fast. I needed a moment.

"Kid..? If you're coming, we gotta leave now!" He stood up and bounced in a rushing motion.

I took a deep breath. I grabbed hold of my favorite stuffed bear, or "lovie," and pushed my covers away. I rushed with my dad down the hall very quietly until we reached the living room. The large window near the front door had a giant hole carved through it.

"Careful, now," he whispered even quieter as he lifted me through it and proceeded to crawl through it himself. He didn't even bother putting me down before he dashed down the stairs to a running grey van with the headlights on. He slid open the back and sat me down on a cushy seat. "Rob, keep an eye on her," he said to a shadow towards the back row. The shadow quickly rushed to the seat beside me as the door slammed shut.

"Is this her, dad?" he asked Dad. I could hardly see his light brown hair that matched mine. Dad nodded, got in the driver's seat and sped off into the night. "She's a lot smaller than I imagined," he said, looking me up and down.

"She's a baby, Rob," Dad mumbled and rolled his eyes.

Robbie smacked his lips and nodded. "Guess so." The car sped down the highway for a while before it swerved off into an exit and in front of a pawn shop.

"Stay here, baby. Gotta grab something before we leave." Dad quickly got out of the car and left it running.

Claire, who I hadn't even noticed in the front seat, raised her hands in anger. "Jesus Christ, this man! Always runnin' off somewhere. Liquor, cigars, it's always somethin'!" she fussed.

"Momma, maybe he's gettin' somethin' for you," Robbie spoke softly.

"Sure hope so." She rolled her eyes and crossed her legs. A few minutes later, an alarm rings in the shop and Dad comes running out with a bag. "Damn it, Wes!" she shouted and straightened in her seat. Dad tossed the bag to her and started driving before anyone could say another word. Claire searched the bag immediately and smiled. "This for me, baby?" She pulled out a shiny bracelet and put it on her wrist. Driving faster than ever before down the street and onto the interstate, he smirked and nodded.

"To new beginnings and whatnot, y'know?" He shrugged and continued speeding. Within only a few seconds, sirens followed us. "Oh, not those pricks again..." He huffed and slammed down the gas even harder, sending us all flying back. The sirens grew closer and closer until they surrounded the vehicle.

"Baby, they're gainin'!" Claire shouted and looked out the windows. Next, they came from the other direction. "Baby!" she yelled and pointed to the police heading for us.

"Shit!" Dad screamed and slammed on the brakes. "Run!" He slapped the car into park and raced out the street, where at least nine police cars surrounded our vehicle. That idiot. He was instantly caught, handcuffed, and stuffed into a cop car. "Claire! Robbie! I..." My father's face disappeared for the last time.

The passenger door ripped open and Claire was instantly yanked out of the dull vehicle with her bleach blonde hair leaving a horrible stamp in my memory.

The back door beside my brother and I rapidly rolled open and a man in a dark police uniform aimed a gun at our heads. He hesitated as he took in the scene. He lowered his aim to see two young children holding each other on the brink of tears. "It's kids!" he yelled to the other men around the van. They all huddled around him to see. "Sarah, you got 'em?" He glanced at someone on the side of the van, out of our line of sight. She slowly became visible. Her face dropped when she saw us.

She let out a deep sigh. "Yeah, I got 'em." She gently approached us and climbed into the car. Robbie kept his arms wrapped around me in protection, but I looked up to see the woman's kind, welcoming face. She sat down beside us and gently placed a hand on Robbie's arm. Robbie's grip loosened and his eyes lifted to her as well. "I promise I won't hurt you..." she told us in a hushed voice, "but you have to come with us."

I glanced up at Robbie, searching for reassurance. But, this was clearly a first for him too. He sighed and gathered his words. "Let's go, then," he uttered. So the lady carefully helped us out and onto the street. There were a lot more police cars than I expected. Traffic was closed off. I was too distracted by the chaotic scene that I barely heard Robbie screaming as two officers pulled him to a cop car away from me.

"No! No! I have to be with her! She's my sister!" He fought against the arms of the men. "You lied to us! You said you wouldn't hurt us!" He screamed at the lady as he grew further away. "Let me go!" He thrashed in their arms and eventually gave up, being pulled faster to a distant car. "Iris, fight your best fight! Hang in there!" His face vanished into the backseat of the car. That was the final time I saw Robbie.

I didn't realize tears slowly streaming down my face. I was too petrified to say anything or run. I only let the lady pull me into a nearby car with red and blue lights flashing.

"In here," she said and opened the door for me. I lifted myself in and sat on the hard, leather seats. I watched as the sky out the window turned from flashing lights to a night sky. I didn't know where the lady went but now it was just me and two male police officers in the front seats.

"What's your name, kid?" the driver asked. He quickly glanced back at me for a second before focusing on the road again. I thought for a second.

"Iris," I whispered and looked down.

"Iris? What a pretty name. Your momma name you that?" I nodded. "Yeah, daddy's a bad man. Chief told me he's spending 15 to life—at least that's what he's pretty sure of. The man has been wanted since before she was alive," he told the other man, "His family's been robbin' for quite some time now. They're all criminals, even the boy." The man in the passenger seat looked back at me.

"And her?" he asked.

The driver let out a sigh. "Guess they never saw her. Maybe she was too small to see during the robberies. But, she's too young to defend herself. I'd say they're assuming she was in on it too. They're separating the family. Too powerful altogether."

"So what's gonna happen to her?"

"Maybe SJCF. Sullivan Juvenile Correctional Facility. Has young girls like her." He turned back to me, "How old are you again?" I remained silent. They glanced at me again, expecting an answer. Absolutely no sympathy. "Whatever," he huffed. He yawned as he looked at the digital clock on his dashboard. "Gettin' late. Good thing we're almost there."

Moments later, the car stopped and was put into park. The driver turned his key and the car grew dead. Both men climbed out of the small vehicle and seconds later, my door flew open. "Here we are." The man on the passenger side ushered me out. "We won't be here long, I suppose," he said, talking more to his partner than me. He nodded and led me into the small building with words I couldn't read on it. My eyes fluttered everywhere. Where was I? Where was my family? What was going to happen to me? Do they know the truth? I was falling behind. I picked up my pace and, after climbing a few steps, went through the front door. The men went to a desk. "Sit there." The driver looked at me and pointed to a small chair against the wall. I obeyed and did my best to climb up. I remained silent and still as I took in my surroundings.

"Evening, Pamela. Or should I say morning?" The driver, who looked huge compared to the tiny girl behind the desk, spoke with a smile. She looked up from her computer and then over to me.

"Oh, my! How old is she?" she whispered to them, hoping I wouldn't hear.

"No idea. 4 or 5, probably. We should hear the word from her dad soon on her information. They're taking him to lockdown."

A gasp escaped her lips and she covered her mouth. "Lockdown? That bad?"

He nodded. "Brother's going downtown, and the lady's going to Georgia to serve her time. Guess that's where she's from." He shrugged.

"Sad to hear that. Poor girl's probably had a long night. What's her name?" She steadied her fingers over her keyboard, prepared to type.

Both guys looked at me for a solid minute, trying to remember my name. I stared right back at them, showing no emotion. "Iris!" one shouted, remembering suddenly.

"Iris...?" She lifted her eyebrows as she expected my last name.

"Tobin. You know Wes Tobin?"

Her eyes widened while she typed. "She's a Tobin? Poor child."

"She's one of them, you know! She was in all the robberies! She deserves to be punished as much as the brother."

"Todd, but she's a baby!" she exclaimed.

"Toddler. And she's a criminal. I know it. If my little Amber was thrown in jail right now, I wouldn't know what to do. But the law is the law and she's broken so many of them..." He transferred to a hushed voice.

The lady breathed heavily and shook her head. "I guess so." She finished filling out my paperwork and after several minutes, she wandered over to me holding a folder with a paperclip on it. "Come this way." She helped me down off the chair and started walking towards a door. She opened it and immediately I took in the sight of bars. They knew lies. My eyes started to water. Were they going to hurt me? The room was empty except for the numerous areas contained by metal bars, but it remained terrifying. The woman approached a door, put a key in it, turned it, and it clanged open. "In here." She looked inside. I hesitated. I shouldn't be here.

"M-momma.." I quietly cried out, searching for my mom. She would make this right. She wouldn't let me go into the bars.

"Momma is in Georgia. She isn't coming back, I'm sorry.." She kneeled down beside me. "You broke the law, so you have to stay here while I talk to the judge. You're too young to defend yourself. Take a nap and when you wake up, it'll be handled. You won't be here for long. Don't worry, okay?" She spoke to me kindly. I sighed and nodded. "Good. In you go." She placed a hand on my back and gently pushed me in. I walked with her and as soon as I was inside, I turned around. She was closing the door!

"No!" I ran to the bars. But, it was too late. I was locked in. Tears started flowing down my face rapidly. "Momma!" I screamed and clung to the bars. The lady took a deep breath and walked off, exiting the room with her heels clicking on the concrete floor. That didn't stop me, though. I continued screaming and thrashing against the bars. Surely someone had to save me if they heard me! However, I was never known to be very patient. I gave up after a few minutes. Tears continued down my red, puffy cheeks and I walked around in a circle before throwing myself on the cold ground. Accompanying me in my cell was a bed way too big for me and a toilet that I most definitely would not be using. I crawled over to the bed, hoping that I'd somehow reach high enough to pick myself up onto it. But it became clear very quickly that this area was not meant for a child. I was far too short to even touch the top of the bed. I eventually gave up on that mission as well. I settled for sleeping on the floor. I was beyond tired and didn't have any choice. I laid for hours on the hard, uncomfortable floor in silence. The lights dimmed soon after and I was in total darkness, forcing me into a slumber.

I woke up the next morning to the lights completely on, blinding me. The room's door clicked open and in came the lady from the previous night. Her heels snapped against the floor that I slept on and she yanked open my door. "Come with me, Iris," she said and stood at the open door. It took me a moment to get over the pain in my back and to bring myself to my feet. When I did, I slowly walked to her. I glanced out the other door and noticed three police officers standing outside. She finished locking up the room I spent my night in and then saw me eyeing the men. "I'll explain on the way," she said, took my hand. and led us out. The men followed us as we headed outside. The lobby with the desk looked extremely different from last night. Lights lit up the area and it looked inviting instead of scary. The sky was also lit up and cars drove by outside. We walked to a bigger police car, much taller than the one I was in the night before. She opened the door for me, lifted me in, buckled my seatbelt, and then climbed in beside me. She closed the door behind herself and the other men got in the front. The third guard sat in the backseat with us. We all silently pulled out of the parking lot and began our journey somewhere.

"Iris, I tried my best. We were talking all night and nobody could change his decision," the lady sighed, "They chose to send you to the Sullivan Juvenile Correctional Facility. It's a few hours away." What was that? Correctional facility? Was it a school? All these words made no sense to me at that time. " You're 4, right?" She asked.

I held up four fingers like my mom taught me.

"I see. That's what they told me," She shook her head and closed her eyes, "It's insane. I don't believe what they think. But, I'm not the judge. All evidence shows that you were in on all their crimes. So, you're being faced with the same offenses as your brother. He's going to a correctional facility for boys his age. SJCF has girls of all ages up to 18. There, they teach the girls how to be kind. You'll be here for a while, Iris. You'll have schoolwork here. You'll live with these girls until you leave. Learn to make the most of it. And don't try to escape. SJCF has the more security than anything in the state. You don't want to be caught in that mess or you could face horrible punishments. You'll be separated from the dangerous and mean girls, but that doesn't mean all the girls will be kind and welcoming. Stay Strong, Iris. Do what they tell you to do. Wear the clothes they provide, eat the food they give you, enjoy the room they give you, make as many friends as you can, and don't complain. This will make your stay a lot easier. Don't let anyone tear you down. You're the youngest person to ever be in here. You're already the nation's youngest horror. You won't be treated the best. It'll be miserable. But, you've already been through more than a 4-year-old should ever have to. Prove to them your strength."

None of this made any sense to me. Was I staying in a hotel? Did I get free food and a room? It all didn't settle until about an hour later and we passed tall gates. "We're here," the lady said. I watched us stop at a gate with guard surrounding it. The windows rolled down.

"We have Iris Tobin." The driver spoke to someone in all black. The man outside looked in the back at me. "We're here to drop her off." He gave a nod.

"Stop at the first building to your left. We'll take her off your hands. Do you have the paperwork?"

The lady nodded and reached down at her feet, where she picked up a big pile of folders. She handed them out the window to the man. "It all should be there. "

"Thank you," he said and gestured to someone in a small room beside the gate. The gate slowly rose up. The car roared back into motion and the gate was soon gone. A giant, 3-story, tan building soon came into view. All windows had bars inside similar to the ones I was in the night before. I only saw a few doors and they all had weird keypads beside them along with several locks. We pulled into a parking space in front of a small building to the left. It looked like nothing in comparison to the big building. They lifted me out of the car and all five of us walked in together.

The second we entered through the glass doors, a woman behind another desk greeted us. "Hello. Is this Iris Tobin?" she asked immediately.

"Yes ma'am," the lady who had been with me said clearly.

"And what's your name, miss?"

"Pamela Martin, I'm from the Central Police Office."

"I see." The lady began typing on her large computer. She looked up at the clock and continued clicking her fingers on the keyboard. "All right." She stopped typing and a printer came to life. "I'll take her from here." She stood up and walked around the desk to me.

"Wait!" Miss Pamela called and grabbed my hand, kneeling beside me. I looked at her. "Remember what I told you. If you need me, they know how to reach me. I'll always be here for you if you need anything. Stay strong in there, okay?" I nodded and my hand was passed into the new lady's hand. The walked me into another door. Several male and female guards were in there with a few smaller girls.

"Take these clothes and go in that room. Change into them and make sure you remove everything. No earrings, jewelry, or even hair ties. Shoes go in this bin. You'll be given new ones," she said sternly, handing me a pile of dull, tan clothes and a small plastic bin. She pointed to a small door and I walked towards it. I went in and discovered a small room with a single dull lightbulb. I had completely forgotten that I was wearing an old, pink nightgown this entire time. I slipped the nightgown over my head and threw it on the floor. I picked up the tan shirt made from a weird material and put it on. There was a small pocket on my chest but the rest of it was straight. I sat on the floor and undid the velcro on my small, white tennis shoes. I remember Mom and me getting them after she came back from work one day. As soon as I got them, I rushed to my friends at the park to show them. I was so proud of my new shoes. Now, I had no idea where they were going. I took them off and placed them in the bin as told. Staying on the ground, I put my feet through the leg holes of the also boringly tan pair of pants. Once through, I gathered myself to my feet and pulled the elastic waistband to my stomach. The pants had no pockets or anything remotely exciting. I picked up my nightgown and my shoe bin, held them close to my chest, and opened the door.

"Excellent. Now, stand against this wall so we can take your ID picture," she said, pointing to a blank white wall in front of a camera on a stand. A guard stood behind the camera, ready to take my picture. I walked over and pressed my heels against the wall. Everyone noticed right away that the camera stand was twice my height. The guard bent down and carefully unscrewed the camera stand, causing the camera to lower until it reached my face. With absolutely no warning, the camera's bright light flashed in my eyes.

"Good," the lady said as a guard began tapping my sides. "Just to make sure you don't have anything else," she said. It didn't take long for the guard to see that I didn't have anything on me. She walked over to a small machine and returned to me with a small card in plastic connected to a clip. She knelt down and clipped it to the pocket on my shirt. I looked down and saw my face on the card. There were several words along with the facility's name printed on it.

"This way. Now, we're going into the facility. I'll be showing you your room in the D corridor, second floor. Your neighbors are Kaylee and Megan. Both are 13. They're our youngest... Well, not anymore." She shrugged and started towards a metal door. She opened it and the sun blinded us. Two guards followed closely behind us as we headed to the bigger building. We came to a metal door that entered into the facility and she punched numbers into the keypad and held her ID up to the wall. The door made a clicking sound and popped open. She held it open for me. This is where I'd be spending the next 14 years.