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Worthless

When the Silence Breaks

Shawn always managed to find a way to regain his role as the puppet master in my life. I think I am taking two steps forward, and he makes it his duty to knock me 10 steps backwards. If my success and accolades are not directly due to him, he is not genuinely happy for me. He has to always have the last laugh, but this time, I have nothing more to lose. If it is a game he wants, then let's play, and I will happily make him star of the show.

"Treasure, Treasure can you hear me?" I hear Shawn still speaking. I was stuck in shock and managed to retreat into my own head with so many questions, but I did not know where to begin processing this type of information. Let alone, on a special day such as this one.

"What the fuck did you just say?" I ask after retrieving my phone from the floor.

"I... I felt you should know the truth since you are starting a new journey soon. I know I have not been the best person to you, and I am beyond regretful for the part I have played. I feel you should know the truth because you are in danger," Shawn continues speaking in a hushed tone.

"Look Shawn!" I began to cut him off.

"Treasure! Shut the fuck up and listen for once! I know you hate me, and rightfully so, but I am trying to at least right a couple of my wrongs by letting you know the truth. We don't have much time. Please meet me at my condo. You should still have your key," he pleads with me.

"Shawn, I graduate in four hours. I do not have time to meet you anywhere. Why can't you tell me everything over the phone? If it is as important as you say, you would go ahead and tell me!" I respond, impatiently.

"Today is the big day! Are you excited?" Cassidy excitedly rushes in my room. "Wait, what is wrong with you?" she asks after noticing my demeanor.

"My condo. 30 minutes. Please be there, Treasure! It is important," Shawn says, speedily, then hangs up. 

"Who was that? Why don't you seem as excited as you were earlier?" Cassidy continues to inquire.

My emotions are being pulled in so many directions, and my thoughts are beyond scrambled. I graduate in four hours, and here I am considering actually accepting Shawn's offer and meeting him at his condo. I vowed to never step foot in that devil's paradise ever again. There is nothing but bad memories and habits stemming from that place, and I am not sure I could stomach another visit. I keep replaying Shawn mentioning that my life is in danger. What could he possibly mean? This shit is getting more and more unbelievable.

"Treasure!" Cassidy screams at me while pinching my cheeks. This brought me out of my thoughts and helped me realize that I really was not dreaming.

"OK! I received a call today, and I don't know what to do," I began to explain to Cassidy. I did not want to tell anyone this soon because I still needed time to process what was actually happening, but time was one thing I did not have at this moment. I told Cassidy everything Shawn had said because after all, she was the one who introduced us, and I needed someone's help and input on the situation.

"Whoa! He cannot be serious!" Cassidy says in disbelief. I'm glad I am not the only one who could not fathom this shit.

"He wants you to meet him at his condo the day of graduation! Are you serious? That's on the other side of town! What does he mean your life is in danger? I call bullshit!" Cassidy shouts.

"Well Cass, I don't know what to believe at this point. He also mentioned that he tested positive, but he did not tell me for what. That is when he decided to disclose this other information. He could be lying because that is what Shawn does, but that is what I will have to find out for myself because this shit is nothing to take lightly!" I explain to Cassidy.

"You are really considering going, aren't you?" Cassidy says with an air of disappointment.

She knows me well enough. At this point, I feel my life is on the line, and the fact that this potentially deals with my health, I need to know what is going on!

"Well, I refuse to allow you to go there by yourself. So, when are WE leaving?" Cassidy asks. I knew there was a reason we were so tight! No matter the situation or circumstance, she is always down to ride. That's my girl!

_____________________________________________________________________________

Cassidy offered to drive because my head was spinning at this point. I could not believe I was about to enter a space I vowed to never return and under these circumstances. I have never had anything positive lure me to Shawn's house, so I can only imagine what he is about to say to me.

"How could I be so stupid?" I scream in disgust. I feel completely fine and healthy, but how could I ever put a degree before my safety and sanity. Hell, depending on what I'm about to find out, I would be lucky to even be alive long enough to use it.

"Chill out! He has to be playing with you. He always has to make every fucking thing about him," Cassidy tries to console me.

"Wait, is this it?" she asks.

Black. Everything is pitch black. "This is it, but is he even here?" I say impatiently.

"You have a key don't you?" Cass asks.

"Yes, but do you think that is safe?" I ask hesitantly.

"We drove all the way out here! We need answers. Let's go!" Cassidy says, angrily.

I never thought I would feel so many emotions at once standing on his doorstep. I had been lured back like a hopeless puppy, and I can't even fathom why I'm here. I'm so nervous; I could hardly find the correct key.

"Treasure, hurry!" Cassidy whispers.

I'm going as fast as I could manage at this point, or should I say, as fast as my pounding heart could take. As I turn the key, I don't know what to expect behind this door. Would Shawn be here? If he is, what could he possibly have to tell me? So many questions are racing through my head, I'm starting to get a headache.

Here goes nothing. I think while slowly opening the door.

"What is she doing here with you?" I hear Shawn ask, but his voice did not come from inside the house.

As I turn around, I see Shawn staring at Cassidy in disgust.

"I wanted her here with me for support. I can't trust you Shawn!" I respond.

"You can't trust me? Really Treasure? Cassidy, I need you to leave my house!" he yells.

"I ain't going no god damn where!" Cassidy yells back.

"What are you reaching for?" I yell as Shawn puts his hand behind his back in a quick motion. He pulls out a gun and aims it at Cassidy. I am stuck between being terrified and confused. Why is he so upset that I brought Cassidy? He didn't exactly tell me to come alone.

"Put the gun down! That shit is not necessary, Shawn!" I yell as I slowly move in between Shawn and Cassidy. "You will not shoot my friend for being a good friend to me and not allowing me to come alone! Put the gun down," I plead again with him.

"You don't understand, Treasure! You can't save everyone because everyone wouldn't save you!" he says. I am now even more confused than ever. What could he possibly mean by that? I don't know what the fuck is going on at this point.

"Yeah, everyone wouldn't save you. He definitely can't save you! Now, put the gun down NOW, Daquan," I hear Cassidy chime in.

"Daquan? Who the fuck is Daquan?" I ask while turning to face Cassidy. "Oh my God! What THE FUCK is going on?" I scream in disbelief as Cassidy is aiming a gun at me as well.

"I tried to tell you, Treasure, but you just had to bring her conniving ass! You are so damn gullible and blind. She is not your friend. She has never been your real friend!" he says.

"Shut the fuck up, both of you! I did not want shit to happen like this, but Daquan here can't fuck without feelings. He can never get a job done and move on!" Cassidy says in a disgusted tone.

"No Cassidy! I can get jobs done, but I am use to moving weight, not bodies. The money was good, but I just could not do it because Treasure is a good girl. I don't understand why we would use her!" he says with a shaky voice.

At this point, I realize I am the one on the outside. There is clearly a lot that I do not know, and once again, I cannot believe I was so stupid. In the midst of being trapped in my mind the entire ride here, I did not realize that Cassidy did not need any directions to Shawn's... or Daquan's house. She was extremely defensive and aggravated when we arrived, and I was potentially changing my mind about going through with meeting up with him. How could I have been so blind?

"I thought we were like sisters?" I ask Cassidy.

"Ha! Sisters? You stole my man!" Cassidy says.

"Stole? Your man? What the FUCK are you talking about Cassidy! I have NEVER dealt with Rico," I respond.

"Rico? Fuck Rico! He was nothing, but a pawn in our game," Cassidy yells.

"Our?" I ask.

"Yes, OUR! Daquan and I! We fell in love months ago, and I needed a way out of the situation with Rico. I loved his money, but I hated him. I loved Daquan, so I introduced him and Rico. I told Rico his name was Shawn because the plan was to kill Rico, so Daquan and I could be together in peace. Rico's money was just a bonus. Mission Accomplished, but you... you just had to be miss perfect as always and make Daquan fall for you. I never planned on hooking ya'll up! He was MINE, but I did not know when Rico said he had a homeboy for you that he meant Daquan until we showed up that day!" Cassidy says.

I am speechless. The one female I have trusted and let into my life during my entire college career is a psychotic bitch!

"I'm sorry, Treasure. I tried to get you to come here before your graduation because I wanted to tell you the truth because she's right, I did grow to love you. You're a great girl. I did not want to go through with the plan anymore, but I did not count on you bringing her! I did not know how else to get you here, so I said just enough to get you to show up. This plan had been eating me alive. I realized, after offing Rico, that I did not want to continue doing this," he admits. "Why do you think I started using my own supply? I was fucking stressed!" he yells.

"Wait, so you don't have anything?" I ask in a confused tone.

"No. I only had this secret to tell you, Treasure. You deserved the truth," he whispers.

"Stressed my ass! You knew what you signed up for! Now, stop this sappy shit and shoot her, or I will!" Cassidy yells.

If I had never questioned what exactly this degree is worth, I definitely am now. I should have just been honest with my mom. I should have never thought I could exit this lifestyle without any problems. Lord, be with me. 

"Please don't do this! Ya'll can have each other! I don't even want him Cassidy, please!" I manage to get out despite my state of shock. This degree definitely is not worth this. I lost my best friend, and now, I'm about to lose my fucking life!

 "Oh my God, NO!" I scream as a shot is fired.

Read next: Stay Informed
De'Ja Wilcher
De'Ja Wilcher

Hello Everyone! I am simply a college student who has a passion for literature. I love all things to do with the subject, especially poetry. I appreciate a great read. This is my favorite form of expression. 

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