The Flatmates

To give some background, I should note that I am an anxiety sufferer. I am also something of an introvert who values time to myself. I think it’s partially to do with an onset of depression I had when I received word as a teenager that my older brother, who was in The British Army, was killed by an IED in Afghanistan.

There's no real way to begin my story. The strange and possessive aspects of my insane college flatmates started around four months after I had moved into my student dorms, where I lived when studying TV production. In that time, one of my flatmates, a girl called Jess had a great fallout with her best friend, who also lived with us because she believed she was being too needy and possessive over her and wouldn’t allow her to have her space. The girl in question moved out, and Jess’ boyfriend Ryan who lived in the same student dorms moved in with us. It seemed okay at first. I’d hang out with Jess and Ryan, and we’d go on nights out, they’d sometimes accompany me to the supermarket when I’d go to do my grocery shopping late at night to avoid the daily rush. I got on well with them at first, but it would become a real live nightmare for me. One evening, the three of us were in the living room eating dinner when for some reason Jess asked;

"Ryan. What would you do if you came home one day and found us both having sex?”

I was pretty surprised as to why she’d ask such a question. Ryan responds with a stoic expression.

“I’d beat him into a fucking pulp.” Jess laughed and smiled like a child who's found it funny to get told off by their teacher

“Why would you say something Like that?” I asked.

“I’m just joking. Don’t be so serious all the time,” Jess responded.

I shrugged off the weird question as just some immature prank and finished eating. I cleaned my plate and proceeded to go to my room.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Jess asked in an authoritative voice.

“I have an essay due on Monday. I’m gonna go get to work on it.” I said.”

Monday is four days away. You not gonna come and socialize with us?"

"I’ve spent the last couple hours with you guys. We can hang out tomorrow,” I politely answered.

“Tomorrow doesn't work for us," she tells me in a frustrated tone. “I’ve got a job interview, and Ryan has work tomorrow. We’ve not seen you All day.”

“I have work this weekend “I’d love to hang with you guys, but I’ve barely started this essay. It’s pretty crucial.

“Well if your essay is so important, why are you working this weekend?” Jess asks in a patronizing tone.

“I need to work. I have bills to pay.” I told her.

“Why are you so horrible to us? You have some smart arsed reply for everything I say,” Jess exclaims.

The couple looked very angry with me now. The confrontation was starting to spike my anxiety, so I felt very uncomfortable. I then noticed I’d left my phone on the kitchen table so went to grab it. Quick as a flash, Jess grabs my phone and shoves it into her breast cleavage and laughs. At this point, my anxiety spiked higher.

“Jess, c’mon. Give me back the phone. I’m not in the mood tonight.”

“Why are you so fucking grumpy all the time! We live in the same flat. You’ll get it back eventually. The way you talk to me is disgusting."

“I’d like my property back now please,” I said in frustration.

My simple question set Jess off. “Don’t you dare speak to me like that! You’re twenty years old. You’re acting like a spoilt child over something that's, not even a big deal.” She shouted at me.

Angry and upset, I went straight to my room while some abusive words were yelled at me as I went, but I needed to take my medication to try and calm my nerves.

“Why am I allowing this to happen?” I thought to myself. This behavior is not how your friends are supposed to act.

My medication kicked in around ten minutes later, and so I went back through to the kitchen to see Jess and Ryan cuddled up on the sofa watching TV.

“I thought you had work to do?” Ryan inquired.

“I do,” I replied. “But I'd just like my phone back.”

"Want doesn't get,” Ryan added.

“You’ve upset Jess now. You realize you’re like a brother to her; now you’re shunning her constantly.”

“It’s not that I don’t wanna see you guys, it’s just I have work to do,” I said.

Jess looked me right me in the eye, her face, a picture rage.

“You need to get a fucking balance in your life. You spend all day in classes, and then it’s writing essays when you get home. Then the only days we get to see you, you spend your time working. You’re such a prick to us.”

“Taking my phone is a prick move,” I answered back.

All of a sudden, the couple leaped to their feet, Jess walked over to me, fury and shock burning in her eyes.

“How fucking dare you call me that! Just who in the hell do you think you are? I do everything for you. I treat you like a brother, and this is how you repay me!”

As Jess stood in front of me, I noticed my phone sticking out of the top of her front jean pocket. Quickly, I reached my hand down and grabbed my phone. As I was pulling my phone back, Ryan grabbed my arm with one hand and tried to grab my phone with his free hand, while Jess gasped in shock. She was horrified that I had just defied her will. I refused to let go of my phone. Ryan realizing this crouches down, and rugby - tackle's me onto the sofa, knocking my head against the wall, with a loud thud that felt like a shock-wave passing through my brain. It was agonizing.

Now on the sofa and being held down, I struggled a lot, but Ryan’s superior strength was too much. He had the upper hand on me, but what he didn't have was the determination I had to not to give up my phone, with both hands, I clutched it tightly as Ryan sat down on my chest. I’ll be the first to admit; I’m not a very manly guy. I’ve always been skinny and underweight. Knowing my weakness, Ryan could overpower me with relative ease. I found it difficult to breathe with him sitting on my chest and started to panic. All this while, Jess stands on and starts laughing with disturbing amusement.

“Get off me!” I shouted. Jess’ laugh turned to rage.

“Oh fucking lighten up!” Jess shouted at me. “We’re having a joke with you. Isn’t this what friends are supposed to do?”

"I can’t breathe!” I exclaimed.

“I’m barely sitting on you,” Ryan said. “You take everything far too seriously; you’re such a drama queen.”

“I can’t breathe!” I said back to him.

“If you can talk you can breathe,” Ryan yelled.

“If I didn’t want you to breathe, I’d do this."

All of a sudden, Ryan wrapped his hands around my neck and squeezed my throat. It was as if my lungs had stopped working as I tried to take in a breath, but I just couldn't. My throat was held shut. I began choking as my vision started fading to black. After eight seconds which felt like eight minutes, Ryan relaxed his grip and then got off me. Part of me thought I was going to die. I was afraid for my life. As I started to get my breath back, However, Jess got angry at me again.

“See what I mean? you’re over-reacting,” she said taking a seat.

“I couldn’t breathe. You could have caused some serious damage to me Ryan,” I told him.

“No I wouldn’t,” he responds. “I choked you for eight seconds. I was barely touching you. The problem with you is you can’t take a joke.”

“That's not a joke. That wasn’t funny.” I hit back.

“Well what is funny to you?” said Jess.

“All we’re trying to do is laugh with you because we’re your friends. We want to spend time with you, but when we do, you always act so seriously and complain that we’re hurting you. Do you how hurtful it is when you behave like a child constantly?”

I didn’t know how to respond. I was scared for my life, but at the same time, Jess was giving me a lecture about how they supposedly care about me. What was more shocking, is that Ryan seemed to be bending to her every will. He knew damn well that he was hurting me, but it appeared so long as it was keeping Jess amused, he’d do anything to please her and always justify her behavior.

Later that night, I sat alone in my room. I had a picture on my desk of myself and my brother just after his passing out parade at Catterick. I was around seven at the time. I always liked this picture. My brother was holding me up, and he was even letting me wear his cap as he smiled at the camera in his full ceremonial uniform, a look of pride and accomplishment on his face. At that moment, Ryan walked into my room unannounced and sat down on my bed.

“Not doing your essay then?” he asked.

“I’ve been finding it hard to think.”

“Jess is distraught. Why have you got to be like that towards her? You know you’re like a brother to her.”

I was disturbed. I had only really regularly started hanging out with these two about three months ago, and I had the status of like a brother. Their behavior was not normal.

“If she cares about me so much, why have you and her gotta do shit like steal my phone, choke me and sit on me or whatever?”

"We never stole your phone."

“You guys took it, and you wouldn’t give it back. That's called stealing,” I told him.

“It's not stealing. The phone was right in front of you. We gave it back. What we’re trying to do is teach you a life lesson, which is to stop worrying and stop being so serious all of the time. We’re trying to help your anxiety.”

I was shocked. Ryan was telling me that he and Jess were trying to cure my anxiety by taking essential items that belonged to me.

“That's not helping it at all Ryan,” I said.

“Well My Mum’s a nurse, and she says that the best way to cure anxiety or at least control it, is not drugging yourself up with those pills, but by being put in actual stressful scenarios and teaching yourself how to manage them. For example, Jess took your phone. She didn’t steal it, but she lives with so and so you would get it back eventually. We are showing you that losing your phone is not the end of the world. If you can't cope with it being in the same room, how are you going to handle the situation if you ever have it stolen?”

I didn’t know how to respond. Ryan said his goodnight and then went to him and Jess' room. Did he think that what they were doing would help me, or was he just so under the control of his girlfriend that he’d do anything to try and justify her actions? Questions like this circled my head on a daily basis.

A few weeks passed. In that time, both Jess and Ryan got kicked out of College for non-attendance. Ryan was now working full time in his retail job, and Jess had a job at a cafe in the city. The two of them were continually dragging me along on nights out, which were never really my thing. The stench of clubs filled with underage teenagers, downing shots of Sambucca and Buckfast by the bottle was more than I could bear. I’d get more than a little drunk to try and cope, I’d pass out, and they’d look for things to steal from me. They'd always take either my phone, my wallet of car keys. Every time, these items would continuously appear in places like under the fridge or sofa, despite me having looked in those places several times. I knew full well that they had been hiding these items from me. I feel that they just enjoyed seeing me suffer when my anxiety started to kick off. What infuriated me more, was that Jess would get all defensive and accuse me of being an awful friend or even start crying when I'd demand they give back these items. What was more confusing, was I why I was blacking out when I had been drinking? It was happening all the time, and I wouldn’t have much of a recollection of drinking as excessively to cause blackouts. I'd never blacked out while drinking before I met this couple. Why was it now happening on a weekly basis?

Shortly before the summer holidays, on a Saturday, I was out on a college assignment. We were filming a scene for one of my classmate's final projects when I got a text from Jess.

“Where are you?” the text read.

“Just out filming with my classmates. Dunno how long I’ll be”. I responded. Before I'd even pocketed my phone, I got a response.

“You must have some idea of when you’ll be back,” the text read. Frustrated I responded again.

“I’m sorry, it’s pretty busy, and we got a lot to do. It’s gonna be late”. I feared what the next response would be. It didn’t come for about 20 minutes when my classmates and I took a break from our work. The text was Ryan this time.

“Jess is upset. It’s mean of you to talk to her like that.”

“I’m not sure what I said to upset her. Unfortunately, I don’t know when I’ll finish today”, I wrote back.

“You must have some idea.” Ryan’s next text read.

Thinking for a moment, I responded; “Maybe 10-10:30,” I wrote back.

“Will it be 10 or 10:30?” Ryan’s next text read. Still unsure I responded; “10:30.”

“Wasn't so hard was it now, to tell the truth for once eh?” The next message read.

The filming continued for most of the night. As we were finishing and packing up the equipment, I’d almost completely forgotten about the texts after taking my medication and getting into my work. Everything went fine until my phone rang. My heart sank. I looked at my watch. It was 10:31. I answered my phone. Before I even said hello, Jess begun to yell at me.

“You're a lying piece of shit! You promised us you’d be home at 10:30." She screamed at me.

“I’m sorry,” I said.

“Look I got held up, we had a busy day.”

“You’re a fucking student. You’re not some important businessman with daily appointments. I have a job, so does Ryan. We make an effort for you, but you never make any time for us. Friendship isn't important to you. Now get your arse home and live up to the promise that you made to your friends.”

The phone went dark. Jess had hung up.

As I drove back to the dorms through the city that night, I was thinking about this so-called friendship a lot. I felt that Jess had to have some mental illness to act the way she did towards me. Did she care about and want to spend time with me, or was she just a bully? But I thought about how Jess baked a cake and gave me a gift on my birthday, so was the girl just a control freak or just plain crazy? The girl had a bizarre notion that I was family and it appeared she was trying to impose some a family life on Ryan and me. What about Ryan? Well, it was apparent. This girl so smote him that he’d do anything to please her and make her laugh. That's what scared me. Ryan would sit on me and hold me down and strangle me because she thought it was funny. He tried to justify everything she did. Could it have been out of fear? Was Ryan just as insane as Jess? It was apparent to me that she had some crazy obsession with me. I soon realized that I shouldn't have to put up with this and I knew for my own sake that I had to get out of this daily nightmare.

When I got home, I got summoned to Jess and Ryan’s bedroom.

“Explain yourself," Jess demanded.

“I was busy. I’m sorry, but I don’t know how long I’m gonna be out doing my job for.”

"It's not a job." Said Ryan, an angry look on his face.

"Stop acting so important. It's a college assignment that wasn't even for your work."

Naturally, Jess decided that she had to have a say in this.

“You told Ryan you’d be back at 10:30. It is now 11:56. We’ve not seen you all day. I was hoping we’d get to spend some time together. But no no. You’re a fucking horrible liar.”

Jess noticeably had a tear rolling down her eye. Her emotional blackmail was working on me. I guess it must have been because I had been subjected to this on a daily basis for months now, I had become accustomed to everything being my fault.

“I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you guys. I promise. I just got too caught up today”, I told them heavily.

“You’ll come out for drinks and dinner with us tomorrow night?” Jess says in a telling, rather than invitational tone.

“Sure,” I said before we said our good-nights and I went back to my room.

Upon getting back to my room, I noticed that my door was open. I could’ve sworn I locked it before I left. When I entered my room, I looked around. On my desk, I noticed that my Brother’s picture was missing. I panicked. I then looked around to see if any other essential belongings of mine had disappeared too. I stormed back to Jess and Ryan’s room. I knocked on the door and demanded they return my picture.

“We don’t fucking have it you prick. We're trying to sleep here." Ryan shouted at me.

“Everything we do for you and you accuse us of stealing? What the fuck do you take us for? You should be ashamed of yourself!” Jess shouts at me. "You've probably dropped it behind your desk or put it somewhere stupid as you do with everything," she shouted.

I was horrified. I knew full well the couple had taken my picture. For months they’d been trying to make me get rid of the photo because according to them it was making me more depressed and kept telling me I needed to let what happened to my brother go.

I went back to my room and sat on my bed. I took my medication and lay down on my bed thinking. The idea suddenly hit me. I had three weeks left of college that year. My family home was a half - hour drive, if that. I could easily commute for three weeks.

I came up with the plan that I'd I wouldn't say a thing. While the couple was out, I'd pack my bags, block their phone numbers and Facebook accounts and then I'd be out without any trouble, without a trace. This plan excited me. Why had it never crossed my mind before? I felt like a prisoner about to escape from a life of torture and oppression.

Unable to sleep, I wasted no time. I began to pack all of my clothes, my DVD collection, my computer, everything that was mine. My getaway had to fast, so I wanted to have at least half of my belongings all packed up tonight while I could. But there was one last thing I needed to do. I needed to get my brothers photo back from their room. I'd have to wait until they were both gone before I'd attempt to recover it. I thought long and hard about what I could do. I thought about asking one of the RA's to let me into the room, but I'd need Jess' permission or needed a valid reason to be let into a room that's not my own. I thought about trying to pick the lock, but that idea seemed too insane, and there was the fear of potential prosecution. I realized that this would have to be down to luck. Both Ryan and Jess sometimes forgot to lock their door, and they often left the window open. I'd have to chance it and hope that they would leave one or the other open.

The next morning, I woke up and waited for both Ryan and Jess to go to work. As soon as I could see the coast was clear, I went around to their door to see if they had left it unlocked. The door was locked. I went back into my room and looked out of my window to see that they had left theirs open. It didn’t take much effort for me to climb across the ledge and open their window fully so that I could enter. The room was a mess like it always had been. Clothes and books scattered around the floor from both of them. Empty protein shake tins, packets of morning-after pills and the likes. I started by looking through the drawers of the desk. In the top drawer, I found my brothers picture. However, in the same drawer, I made another discovery which was way more disturbing than anything I ever lived through in my time here. I found some pink pills in a clear plastic zip-lock bag. I took a closer look. It suddenly all hit me. On these nights - out we had been on, I had gotten sick and passed out early on. I had put it down to my alcohol tolerance, but I then thought about a lecture a Policeman gave us about drugs in school years ago and the effects of Ruflin or the “Date-Rape Drug.” I felt a chill down my spine. The two of them had been knowingly drugging me and that tonight they’d probably do it again unless I got out of that place. But why were they drugging me? There must have been some reason; I had to know why. I looked in another desk drawer, and this time I found a scrapbook with the title; "Happy Memories" on the front cover.

I looked through the book, and I gasped in horror at what I saw. I found a series of pictures of myself, in some cases stripped naked in my drugged up state, my nude covered by blankets wrapped around me, with Jess cradling my head in her arms. In another picture, Ryan was carrying me through the city streets, completely unconscious. Not only did they have these disgusting pictures, but there were pictures of me out and about around town, going through my daily life. There were some pictures of me working at the hotel and photos of me in classes. All of these pictures had been taken from a distance and without my knowledge. Some images were taken of me walking my dogs with my parents on a beach around, back in my hometown. They had been following me for months. My excitement now turned to fear as it was likely they now knew where I lived. I flipped through more pages of this scrapbook. This time, I found online news articles and pictures of my brother that had been in the news after his death. There were even pictures of his coffin during his repatriation ceremony, but the most disturbing photo of all was on the final page. On that page, was a photo of my Brother and me, taken before he went to Afghanistan during a fishing trip we took with our Dad one weekend. However, my brother had been out of this picture, and he was by Jess and Ryan sitting on a pier, with me in the middle. In my rage and fear, I began to tear up the scrapbook violently. Within about 30 seconds, the room became littered with torn - up pages. I sat down and looked around the floor of the room. I don't know what was going through the minds of this couple, but whatever it was, it indeed wasn't normal. I had to leave this flat now.

I went straight out of Jess’ door and into my room. I instantly got out a box, and as quick as I could I started throwing the rest of my belongings into it and took it all straight to my car along with the suitcase I'd packed the night before. Unfortunately, I realized, that after even nine months, you accumulate a lot of random objects and belongings, so I needed to get another suitcase to finish the job. I went down to the local supermarket to buy another bag. Just before I entered, I got a text. I looked at my phone. My heart sank. It was Jess.

“Is there something you want to tell me?” read the text.

In my naivety, I thought Jess was still at work and so felt it could be some other reason she was texting me for. I went into the supermarket and bought a large suitcase. As I Ieft the store, my phone started getting text and missed call alerts. There was no signal in the store, so I could only get these alerts now as I was leaving. I looked at my phone. There were thirty - seven missed calls from Jess. She had been phoning almost every ten seconds out of the ten minutes I had been in the shop. I had also received a stream of texts from Jess.

“Answer your phone. You’ve upset me more than anything.” “Please answer your phone. I beg you!” “Why are you so horrible to me?”

I was now more scared than I ever have been in my life. My escape plan was foiled, but I still had the determination I had worked up the previous night. I wasn't about to let anything stand in my way. It was time for me to take back control of my life.

The minute I got back to the dorm, I saw Jess standing in the doorway, crying her eyes out. I ignored her and went straight to my room. By the look on her face, she had expected me to acknowledge her. My door then suddenly opened.

“Why are you doing this to me?” She cried hysterically.

“Because you’re an abusive psychopath whose caused me nothing but misery,” I replied. I wanted to smile. I had wanted to say something like that for some time. Jess completely broke down and fell to her knees.

“This is the most upset I’ve been in my entire life! it is worse than when my Dad left me.”

I continued packing my bags, ignoring her pleas for attention.

“Please stop. Don’t leave me. I love you. You're like family to me."

Her pitiful beg infuriated me. The rage I had bottled up inside me suddenly revealed itself to her. I turned, looked her in the eye and let her know my feelings exactly.

“You love me so much that you steal from me and try to deny it. You love me so much that you roofie me and take sick fucking photos of me?”

She stopped crying suddenly and looked me in the eye.

“What?” she asked. Her face turned to surprise.

"Yeah, that's right. I went into your room to reclaim the property you stole from me. I found that disgusting picture album you and Ryan have been making. The two of you are a couple of degenerate, insane scumbags who deserve to be locked up for life."

“How fucking dare you go into my room. How dare you!” Jess shouted at me.

“You steal from me all the time,” I replied. "You enter my room constantly. You're a lying, thieving insane little bitch. There is absolutely nothing you can do to stop me from leaving. I never want to see you again."

Flustered and upset Jess tried to make a final tug at my emotional strings.

“What Ryan and I do is for your good. We're teaching you teaching you to control your anxiety. You always get back the things we take from you. We want whats best for you, why can't you see that?" After her tirade, she started To cry again. “I know what you’re brother meant to you. All I’ve wanted is to love you as he did and be a sister to you. I feel that I was put on this earth to replace him.”

She thought that she had become my brother? That statement alone was one of the most disturbing things I’ve ever heard in my life. Ignoring Jess as she cried and begged me not to leave, I threw the last of my belongings into the suitcase and went for the door. Instantly, Jess stormed to the door and stood in front of it, preventing me from leaving, only this time her miserable face had turned into fury.

“If you dare walk out on me, I'll make you suffer. Ryan will ensure that!”

She shouted in my face. I pushed her out of the way and opened the door to throw my suitcase into the corridor. As I did, she slammed the door on my arm. I grunted loudly in agony as she did it. She kept pushing the door and applying pressure to my now trapped arm, as she kept screaming in my face. Without any hesitation, I kicked her in the stomach, Suddenly she let go and dropped down, winded and crying. There was no way she had ever expected me to fight back. I grabbed my suitcase, headed straight for my car and drove away as fast as I could. As I got out of the city and onto the country roads leading to my town, I couldn’t help but smile and laugh to myself. I screamed and whooped at the top of my lungs as I drove way over the speed limit. I felt free for the first time since I had moved into that place. I felt happier than I had been in years. I felt like I could do anything and stand up to anyone. However, the realization soon hit me the mad couple both knew where my family resided and I knew how unhinged they were. It was just a question of how they would act.

When I got home, I Immediately blocked both Jess and Ryan on all social media and their phone numbers. Just before I blocked Ryan, I received a text from him.

“You hurt Jess. I’m going to kill you. I’m going to kill your family and your fucking dogs, and I'll make you watch. I fucking mean it you worthless piece of shit.”

I instantly showed the phone to my Dad, and he called the police. I was surprised about how quickly they appeared. An investigation officer interviewed me while an armed response team stood around our house. I explained everything about what had happened in the events leading up to the whole ordeal. The investigating officer was shocked when he heard about what had happened to me and was profoundly disturbed by the text messages and my story about the photo album. Police investigated the dorms and found no trace of either Ryan or Jess, and so the police tracked their phones. Ryan and Jess were seen in my town and immediately arrested before they could get to the house. Ryan was armed with a baseball bat and also had a rope and a knife in his possession. He charged along with Jess.

Soon after my ordeal, Ryan received a prison sentence for making threats and carrying weapons with intent. Jess was sentenced to a secure psychiatric ward for criminally insane after the police had found Roofies in her room and the remnants of the photo album. She had also tried to bring rape charges against me which got dismissed due to lack of evidence. A blood test later confirmed that I had was given Roofies.

It has been a couple of years now since these events took place, but I remain fearful knowing that both Ryan and Jess will one day be walking the streets again. The whole ordeal has made me apprehensive about forming close friendships with people and even more terrified of ever sharing an apartment or dorm with anyone. I started commuting to college for my second year. One thing for sure is that I am a stronger man and will never allow anybody to exert psychological dominance over me ever again.