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Sweet Revenge of the Pregnant Kind (Pt. 1)

Part One

@shays.camera

In a world where most children are illegitimate and advanced education is for the high and lofty, there is one who will serve life as his teacher, for he is the vessel of knowledge. He does not succumb to the temptations of being swept by the river, for he knows very well, he is already cool enough. 

I get a visitor early in the morning, at my place of residence. 

“James please, I need a favour. Or rather, I need your help.”

She has eyes that are truly desperate. Who wouldn’t listen to eyes like that? I invite her in, but she declines. Quite unusual. If you can't have her for tea, bring the tea to the door.

“Why here? Why now? We haven’t talked in months. Seeing as to how you’ve come this far your friends are incapable of earning your trust,” I say as I put on my thinking face, and tentatively stir my glass. She closes her eyes and bites her lip, rather hard, a tear forming in her eyes.

“I’m pregnant...,” she says as she fidgets with her hand. Unfortunately, this doesn’t surprise me, but at the same time, it is surprising.

“Who’s the father? Or rather, who did this to you?” I ask in a calm manner. She pops a squat and closes her face in with her forearms.

“Galen. We went on a date at his house, and he put me to sleep with some kind of drug. I can’t remember anything after that, but I’ve been feeling nauseous, and my head feels like it’s being split open. So I took a test. Josh, I don’t know what to do. I’m in no position to be a good role model let alone raise a child.” She looks up. Such a pitiful soul. Betrayed in the highest degree by a man she thought was trustworthy.

“This may make me look like a misogynistic right wing pig, but I want you to have the baby. I have a perfect plan. Come by my office today at six since my records are all there. I’ll prepare the details,” I say as I crouch down and hand her my business card.

My grandma’s tool shed has become my office since last June.

She has arrived.

“Here’s the plan. Educate yourself with anything and everything you can, and don’t fall behind. It’s the only way you can maintain your normal life while being pregnant. Once you have the baby call this number,” I say as I slide her a burner phone with only one number. “Once you call the number, I’ll go to pick up the baby. Since you don’t want any records to be left behind, it has to be a homebirth. I'm sure my grandma can help you there. Any questions? If not then I'll see you off.” I stand up to show her the door.

“Why do you want me to have the child?”

She asks with true curiosity and confusion. As if she cannot conceive any thought of reason as to why I would suggest such an idea.

“Because I KNOW he will go on to do great things,” I say as I put on my hat.

“It’s a girl,” she says.

“In that case, it's even better,” I say. I let out hearty a chuckle since the baby just got upgraded by 50%. As the saying goes, "A society without women has led us thus far, and look where we are."

“But is that the only reason?”

“No. Let me ask you something. Are you angry at Gale? Seeking revenge at all?” I ask her as I pace in front of my desk.

“I don’t know. I thought I loved him, and that he loved me. I guess so. The thought of him disgusts me. Yes. I want him to know what it feels like. True betrayal.” I can see her anger. She trembles with fury.

“That’s what I like to hear. Here is the next part of the plan. Gale will only think that you had an abortion. Please do keep in mind this is a long-term revenge plot. I’ll raise the child in the best way I know, and she will grow up into a beautiful woman. When she turns eighteen, then he will find out, and if he still hasn’t been prosecuted, then there is evidence in the form of your daughter. Until that eighteen year mark, keep your watch around men, don’t go to their houses, even if they say they’re gay.” There is a moment of silence.

My plan may be insensitive, but if she wants to get revenge, it’s the only way I know how. It’s been well over a month since the incident, so evidence collection is impossible without killing the baby. However, ten out of ten Jameses suggests the idea that babies haven't really done anything worthy of death at that point of their lives. Plus, her child is going to be super cute. Now truly, I must learn to raise a child. Where to now?

First of all, I think I'm going to need a little meeting with this "Gale".

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