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Signs Someone Might Murder Their Spouse

Nearly half of all the murders in the United States are at the hands of a romantic partner. To protect yourself and your loved ones, it's important to be aware of these signs someone might murder their spouse.


Let's face it: We've all thought about killing our spouses before. If you've thought about it, who's to say your spouse isn't also thinking about killing you? If you want to have any hope of surviving your marriage, it's imperative for you to stay at least one step ahead of your partner at all times, lest you become a victim in a murder. Thankfully, if you keep your eyes peeled for significant warning signs and red flags, you just might be able to save yourself or a friend who may be in danger. It's important to be wary of any signs someone might murder their spouse so you can stop a tragedy before it occurs.

They keep trying to make you drink antifreeze.

If you've never tasted antifreeze (I don't recommend it), you probably don't know that it actually tastes... not bad at all. A key ingredient in antifreeze is a sugary, syrupy alcohol derivative called ethylene glycol. This chemical sweetens the juice, giving it a flavor not dissimilar to lemon-lime Gatorade. Murderous spouses have been known to spike sports drinks with antifreeze and serve it to their loved ones—it even happened in my home town. For better or worse, this is generally a long term method of murder, as it generally takes several small doses over a period of months in order to weaken your internal organs. A sudden interest in serving lemon-lime Gatorade is one of the most surefire signs someone might murder their spouse.

They have a history of domestic violence.

Photo by Timothy Eberly on Unsplash

It's good to keep a generally positive and optimistic outlook on human behavior, but some people simply can't control themselves. If someone you know—man or woman—has a history of domestic violence against their current spouse or even previous partners, it can spell trouble for the future. On its own, domestic violence isn't one of the more reliable warning signs of premeditated murder. That said, someone who is already off-kilter enough to physically harm their husband or wife is certainly capable of killing their spouse under the right (wrong) circumstances.

They always order for you at restaurants.

Photo by rawpixel on Unsplash

Murderers often exhibit signs of deeply controlling and possessive behavior. One of the early symptoms of this can be if someone doesn't let their partner order their own food at restaurants. This behavior is usually accompanied by other symptoms, such as intentionally holding back information, such as where they're going or what else is going on in their life. If you see someone ordering for their partner at a restaurant, you may want to warn them that doing so is one of the earliest signs someone might murder their spouse. If you're afraid your own spouse may be harboring murderous intentions, be on the lookout for signs that your spouse is a controlling person.

They have trouble controlling their emotions.

One of the biggest red flags before murder or domestic violence is seeing someone who is prone to fits of rage, shouting matches, and violent mood swings. The inability to control these extreme emotional behaviors is a warning sign of deep-seeded emotional and mental health issues that, if left untreated, can have tragic outcomes. Uncontrollable emotions aren't necessarily a sign of an inherently murderous person, but an emotional person's violent outbursts may simply be a precursor before killing their spouse in a fit of rage.

They make too many impulsive purchases.

You may be noticing a pattern by now that a lot of spousal murders aren't premeditated, but rather happen in the heat of the moment. On some level, a crime of passion is less horrifying than a cold, premeditated murder, but that doesn't make the victim any less dead. The root cause of these sorts of murders is often poor impulse control. Keep your eyes peeled and look out for anyone exhibiting a pattern of impulsive behavior. An early warning sign of this behavior is making excessive impulse purchases. For a decent litmus test, send your spouse to Target or a nice grocery store with a reasonable shopping list. If they come back with any items that weren't on the list, they are very likely capable of murder.

They suffer from alcohol or substance abuse.

Alcohol and other drugs are a tricky subject, as they affect many people in different ways. Generally speaking however, if someone already has deep-seeded murderous tendencies, substance abuse is the emotional credit card ringing up a shovel and latex gloves in the checkout lane. Chronic drug and alcohol abuse can have a severe negative long term impact on someone's health as well as the livelihood of their family members. If you notice someone becoming increasingly dependent on drugs, take steps to encourage them to get rehabilitative help. Not only will it improve their own health, but it will likely keep them from murdering their romantic partner.

They've started cheating.

A staggeringly high number of married people have cheated on their spouse before. While most of these affairs happen just once or twice, a significant percentage of these cheaters are in long term relationships with an intimate partner outside of marriage. If you know someone in this latter group, keep a close eye on them, lest you become a victim in their murderous rampage. The reason why extramarital affairs are significant signs someone might murder their spouse is because it often means they are preparing a new life and family for themselves. Premeditated spousal homicide is often the result when a man or woman finds someone they like more than their husband or wife and decides that murder is a simpler alternative to divorce.

They're always jealous.

Another symptom of overly-controlling behavior, extreme jealousy is often exhibited by potential murderers. Keep an eye on anyone who reacts with hostility when their partner meets anyone new or tries to spend time with a friend of any gender. The intense possessiveness these could-be killers display stems from paranoid delusions that their spouse doesn't love them, or somehow loves them less because they have other people in their life. The unfortunate result of this "if I can't have you, no one can" mentality is often murder.

They don't seem to experience normal emotions.

Murderers often exhibit sociopathic or psychopathic behavior. Their inability to connect with or comprehend others' feelings keeps them from experiencing the guilt and remorse that keeps most of us from murdering our family members. Some serious red flags can be if someone you know doesn't cry at sad scenes in movies. This is another area where a litmus test can come in handy: Schedule a viewing party for Up and invite anyone and everyone you're suspicious of. Anyone who doesn't cry during the first scene is almost definitely a murderer.

They've killed before.

Potential victims in denial, too often blinded by their love, will be quick to defend their murderous spouses by claiming something like, "She killed her last two husbands, but there's no way she'd kill me too!" These people are, of course, delusional. Any person is capable of murder, especially if they've murdered multiple times before. If your spouse has a history of murdering their family members, you should consider taking steps to defend yourself. These types of murder are the ones that inspire ghost stories, as they chase you around your house with a steak knife, calling you the names of her former victims. The same goes for any of your friends: If you know they're married to a murderer, let them know that a history of violent spousal murders is one of the most telling signs someone might murder their spouse again.

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