My Most Insane Tinder Experience

I met a friendly, attractive clean cut guy on Tinder. Things escalated quickly as we had many lengthy heart to heart talks. He told me he was a bestselling author and motivational speaker. He had a website to back this up. He was going through a nasty divorce. He told me that he had millions of dollars, but they were all “tied up” in the divorce. He told me how much he cared about me, how pretty I was, etc. I was thrilled. His name was Raymond Lumsden.

He told me about a ring that belonged to his grandfather that was at a jeweler for repair. He needed to pay $1000 to get the ring back. He was extremely convincing. I ended up paying for the ring. He swore he’d pay me back.

Next he told me he would be able to visit his two small children, but he didn’t want to go empty handed. He persuaded me to buy them entire wardrobes for the new school year. I spent around $2000.

Each time he pleaded for my help, it’s almost as though he made it seem like it was my idea. He was that smooth. I ended up spending almost $7000 on various things. I thought I was in love with him.

Then my money ran out. I had maxed a credit card, so I had to turn down his latest plea. He became furious. And then he dropped me like a hot potato. Livid, I called him, and demanded he pay me back all he owed me. He simply laughed and hung up on me.

I was also going through a divorce at the time, and things were tense with my then husband. Ray had asked me detailed questions before about my husband, which I willingly answered. So, after I threatened to call the police, Ray called up my then husband on his work phone. He told him that I had been extorting money from him. He was trying to scare me by getting me into trouble with my ex. Thankfully I was able to show my ex the credit card statement, which proved that I was the victim.

I realize now that I had become the prey of a professional con man. I googled his name, and found dozens of women in chat forums who had similar stories to mine. He made a living out of taking advantage of vulnerable women.

I called the police in his town. They said that they were well aware of Ray but could do nothing, because I had willingly made those purchases for him. He had not broken any law. I was totally beaten down by all the money I had lost to this crook. I tried to forget and move on.

Fast forward to about a month ago. Something prompted me to google his name. What I found chilled me to the bone. He’s listed on the Texas Prison Inmates register. He was found guilty of child molestation. His sentence is 25 years. He finally got what he deserved.

UPDATE 6/13/19

Thank you for all of your supportive comments and upvotes. I told my story here hoping that it might help someone. Was I naive? Yes, of course. I had been married for eight years and was brand new to dating again. Was I enticed by his claim of wealth? Yes, I was. Was I foolish? I suppose so. What did I learn? That I am too trusting and too generous, and you can be SURE that I learned my lesson. This kind of thing will never happen to me again.

A correction: he is serving a life sentence for his child molestation crimes.

I'll say this again in my defense, I am an intelligent woman. I was going though an emotionally difficult time and I was vulnerable. My defenses were down. He was a professional con man. He tricked me expertly. He turned out to be a career criminal. I was not his only victim. Please pause before you shame the victim.

His name is Raymond Lumsden. Google him.

Raymond Lumsden v. The State of Texas Appeal from 211th District Court of Denton County.