Your death has impacted my life on every level. I went from a stage where I was unable to cope with your loss—doing drugs, overdosing constantly and drinking alcohol every single day—to being a young mother free from drugs and alcohol. I wish I were able to know the true story behind your murder so that I would have closure and know that you truly are resting peacefully. You’ve had a short and stressful life and you didn’t deserve to be murdered so brutally like that. Some days I wish to get a degree in Forensic Science to solve your case, but I know if I did I would only focus on your case, I would go insane. If I couldn’t find answers while being a Forensic Expert/Detective it would make me go mad.
I remember when we were kids and it was the middle of winter; I wanted to go play outside so you took me outside and Nicole followed behind us and we were always on the same team as each other—you threw the snowball so fast at Nicole and you and I screamed and jumped up happily that we got her! We won the snowball fight. Haha. Those memories will never fade, Nate. I love you no matter what. I know that I’m in denial of what happened to me when I was younger but some part of me just doesn't want to remember because you were my big brother, the only one there for me, the only one that loved me, the only one that cared. It hurts too much to think of what could have happened so many years ago. Yeah, it fucked me up a bit, but not worse than our mother screwed me up. I was never able to tell you all of the things I wish I could have. It wasn’t fair for you or me to not be in each other’s lives after that. But I want you to know that not all of your family hated you. Because I love you forever and always.
Nathan, what happened? Why did you get involved in such chaos? I understand you wanting to take care of your baby and create a life for yourself but Nathan, now your life is taken. Nati has no father. I have no big brother. Was it your brother that got you into all of the extra chaos? My biggest question is, why? Who did this to you? Who betrayed your trust? Why did someone have to kill you? I can’t stop thinking about it all. Six years later and I still want to work as a private investigator and get into your file to try to see if I can find a clue that someone missed. Are the police even still working on your case? Do they care? I saw the tire marks, Nate. I saw your stained blood left at the lake. I saw your body outlined where you were shot in your head. Why did you go? Who lured you late at night to go to a lake in the middle of October? Or did they force you in the van? I spoke with the woman who called the police and she saw a dark blue van pull off. Why did no one take that into consideration? Why didn’t she look at the license plate? She thought it was fireworks? So she just waited to call the police until you got shot again and it was too late. Nathan, this is all driving me insane. I tried the whole 'letting go' thing but I need to solve your case. I need to get answers. I need to be your Nancy Drew and get justice the right way. I need an undercover story and a way to access your files. I need to find out.