Criminal is powered by Vocal creators. You support Rowan Marley by reading, sharing and tipping stories... more

Criminal is powered by Vocal.
Vocal is a platform that provides storytelling tools and engaged communities for writers, musicians, filmmakers, podcasters, and other creators to get discovered and fund their creativity.

How does Vocal work?
Creators share their stories on Vocal’s communities. In return, creators earn money when they are tipped and when their stories are read.

How do I join Vocal?
Vocal welcomes creators of all shapes and sizes. Join for free and start creating.

To learn more about Vocal, visit our resources.

Show less

Awesome Gifts for Conspiracy Theorists in Your Life

Have a friend who's totally fascinated by reptilians taking over the Earth? These gifts for conspiracy theorists might be just what the doctor ordered...

Conspiracy theorists are an odd bunch — and that's why we love them. They always question common beliefs and ask society what we really know. At times, they're the most open-minded and intelligent people you'll meet. 

Most conspiracy theorists have at least one or two conspiracies they really enjoy, but if you're their (non-theory believing) friend, chances are the only conspiracy you're involved in is figuring out which gift to give them for a surprise party. 

Since conspiracy theorists are as awesome as they are, we totally understand why you'd want to celebrate your buddy from time to time. These gifts for conspiracy theorists will bring a smile to their face, and won't assassinate your budget, either. 

Faraday Carryall by Silent Pocket

Without a doubt, one of the best gifts for conspiracy theorists would have to be a Faraday Bag. These covers are perfect for protecting electronics from EMP blasts, such as those that could happen from government blackops groups or alien invasions. 

Silent Pocket's sleeve is a perfect Faraday safe for most cell phones. So, in the event of an apocalypse, it'll be the most stylish and useful accessory on the block. 

TK4 Tracker IV Metal Detector by Bounty Hunter

You'd be shocked at how many conspiracy theorists believe metal detectors to be a great tool for the upcoming apocalypse. Rumor has it that they can even be used to see how chemtrails are affecting the area — and your conspiracy theorist friend probably already knew that. 

This metal detector is known for being lightweight and highly accurate. So, it's one of the better gifts for conspiracy theorists who may also have a penchant for treasure hunting. 

4-Pack Wireless Security Cameras by Arlo

If you've got a conspiracy theorist who wants to make sure they aren't being watched by a government agent, these cameras can help. They're wireless, give you four different cameras to spy on entrances, and also give you high-definition video. 

A little peace of mind is great, isn't it?

Test Strips by Industrial Test Systems

What's really in your water? These industrial-grade test strips will tell you what you need to know. It tells you pH levels, and alerts you to any other issues your water may have. (But mostly, it's a pH issue.)

If you have a friend who's scared of drinking government-approved water, these are one of the best gifts for conspiracy theorists you can give them. 

I Want to Believe Magnet by Cafepress

Just about every single person who's into conspiracy theories will recognize this magnet — it's the artwork that's featured in the conspiracy theory-friendly show, X-Files. Now your friend can get a little bit of sci-fi artwork in their own home, and it'll have the same conspiracy theory flair that you'd expect them to love. 

If you have a fan of Mulder and Scully, you're going to want to give them this magnet. It's also totally applicable to people who really want to believe in conspiracy theories of all kinds. 

You Call Me Paranoid Bumper Sticker by Zazzle

It's not really paranoia if people are really out to get you, right? This simple bumper sticker gently reminds people that there may be reasons to be scared — and that those who aren't might not be the smart ones of the bunch.

Though simple, it makes for a great gift. Better still, it's under $10. 

Roswell Crash Site Soil Sample by Images SI Inc.

Roswell was the king of all conspiracy theories, and it's an event that spawned a number of conspiracy sci-fi movies as a result. Now, your conspiracy-loving buddy can get a real vial filled of the action with SI Images' Roswell dirt. Who knows? Maybe a test kit will show something totally out of this world in the sample you give them!

The fact that it's from such a legendary site makes this vial of dirt one of the coolest gifts for conspiracy theorists and alien believers alike!

Fluoride-Free Toothpaste by Tom's of Maine

This is one of those gifts for conspiracy theorists that doesn't make sense to anyone but the conspiracy theory community. Fluoride is poisonous, according to conspiracy groups. This toothpaste is yummy, effective, and fluoride-free. 

What more do we need to say? It's one of the more functional gifts for conspiracy theorists out there — and it's affordable, too.  This toothpaste is fennel-flavored. Yum!

Walking Among Us: The Alien Plan to Control Humanity by David M. Jacobs

No gift guide for conspiracy theorists would be complete without one or two books. That's why one of the best gifts for conspiracy theorists this holiday season is a book by David M. Jacobs — a man who wants to warn humanity about alien-human hybrids who are helping other species take over the Earth. 

This gripping book shows accounts of alien abductees, evidence to the takeover, and what people should watch out for when dealing with a potential alien menace. Cool? Yes, even if you're not a conspiracy theorist yourself. 

Anti-Illuminati T-Shirt by Zazzle

You know your buddy probably hates the Illuminati, right? Well, that's why this anti-Illuminati T-shirt is one of the best gifts for conspiracy theorists. This lets those in that random organization know that their NWO plans are not appreciated, right? 

Now Reading
Awesome Gifts for Conspiracy Theorists in Your Life
Read Next
The Penthouse Pet and the Mysterious House Fire