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Social Media and Stalkers

Be careful about the information you allow on social media.

By Angel Kevin Stevens AtkinsonPublished 6 years ago 8 min read
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Social Media and Stalkers

No one sets out to have a stalker and typically no one identifies that they have acquired a stalker right off. Sometimes the stalker makes it impossible to see the "signs" that they are stalking you.

Social Media and Stalkers

Stalking isn't something that happens overnight. It is built up over time. Nor is it something that goes away easily. It usually last months upon years.

Stalking statistics as reported by the Department of Justice Stalking Division in 2009—

  • Persons aged 18-24 experience the highest rate of stalking.
  • One in six women and one in 19 men in the United States have experienced stalking during their lifetime.
  • During a 12 month period, an estimated 14 in every 1,000 persons age 18 or older were victims of stalking.
  • About 43 percent of victims stated that police were contacted at least once regarding the stalking.
  • Approximately one in four stalking victims reported some form of cyber-stalking such as email or instant messaging.
  • The average duration of stalking is 1.8 years.
  • Three in ten victims reported being injured emotionally or psychologically from being stalked.
  • 7.5 million people are stalked in one year in the U.S.
  • Over 85 percent of stalking victims are stalked by someone they know.
  • 25 percent of female and 32 percent of male victims are stalked by an acquaintance.
  • one in five are stalked by a stranger.
  • 11 percent of stalking victims have been stalked for five years or more.
  • Stalking behaviors have been identified in nine out of ten murders.
  • 78 percent of stalkers use more than one means of stalking.

A victim may feel annoyed by their stalker, finding their behavior odd, and after repeated attempts to get them to stop, they realize that the stalker has become obsessed, which is then that fear sets in.

Stalking is when someone is forced to have a relationship with one against their will. It can cause a victim to have mixed emotions and it leads to devastation. Emotions range from feeling helpless, paranoid, mistrustful, anxious, frustrated, angry and frightened to even suicide.

Some serious stalking cases have lead to assault, rape, and even murder. Most of these stalkers have personality disorders or are delusional. They not only stalk the victim, but those around the victim, as well, in order to disrupt those relationships. They will also use their close relationships to intimidate or humiliate their victims. These actions leave their victims more isolated and traumatized.

There Are Six Types of Stalkers—

Intimacy seekers: The stalker wants to create a loving, intimate relationship with their victim and believe that their victim is their soulmate. Even if they have never met, they feel they are destined to be together. Types of victims for this stalker are strangers and acquaintances only. This type of stalker is usually lonely and lacks intimate relationships. They could suffer from mental illnesses that include delusional thoughts and fantasies or depression. They typically send presents accompanied by love notes to their victims and get violent when they are rejected. This type of stalking is the second most persistent stalking so it is long lasting.

Incompetent Suitors: Are usually men with poor social or dating skills. They fixate on someone that is not available because they are either dating or married. The stalker wants a short term sexual relationship with their victim. Their types of victims are strangers or acquaintances. The stalker portrays social disabilities like Asperger's and lacks social skills. They will continue to ask for dates regardless of how many times they have been rejected. Constantly attempting to touch or connect with the victim.This type of stalking is short term and the easiest to deal with.

Rejected Stalkers: These stalkers pursue their victims in hopes to reverse, correct, or avenge a rejection. Examples are divorce, separation, or termination. They are not ready to let a relationship end. They want to reconcile the relationship and flip flop between wanting the person back in their lives to hating them and wanting to hurt them. Because of this, their victims could receive flowers one moment and a death threat the next. Their victims tend to be close friends, family members, co-workers, love interests, or exes. This stalker typically portrays jealously issues, narcissism, anger issues, dependency issues, as well as a history of abuse or domestic violence. This is the most persistent type of stalking. They do it for two reasons: 1. To feel closer to the victim and 2. To cause stress to the victim so they raise their self esteem, causing them to feel better about themselves.

Resentful Stalker: This type of stalking is actually a vendetta against their victims because they have a grievance with them. The stalker sets out to frighten and cause distress to their victims so they have control to induce their revenge. Their victims might not be the actual ones that have humiliated them in the past, but one that the stalker is reminded by their similarities. The stalker feels that they are the true victims and the victim is the abuser, so it justifies their stalking this way. Typically, their victims are strangers or acquaintances. However, some have been actual past relationships. The stalker, in this case, portrays paranoid personality traits. This is one of the most obsessive types of stalking. They get a rush of power due to the fear that is induced in their victim. Usually no physical threats take place with this stalker, just verbal threats.

Predatory Stalkers: Typically the stalker uses some sort of spying technique on their victim in order to plan their attack on them. Usually sexual in nature, the stalker tends to be sadistic, a serial rapist, or a pedophile. Stalkers are usually male. Their victims can be male or female, someone they know, strangers, or someone they feel close to online. Most stalkers in this category suffer from low self esteem, low intelligence levels, and poor social skills. They may be loners and socially awkward. They have issues with fetishes and remain hidden as to not draw attention to themselves. They use a number of techniques to monitor the victim at a distance. This type of stalking is short term but has the highest amount of physical violence reported.

Erotomanic and Morbidly Infatuated Stalkers: In this type of stalking, the stalker believes that their victim is actually in love with them.They feel their victim's body language, or even a slight glance in their direction, shows their love for them, even if the victim has never verbally expressed it. The stalker, in turn, makes their victim a large part of their life and fantasies. Their victims include celebrities and social high class people. It could also pertain in to normal, everyday life. These type of stalkers usually suffer from some sort of delusional illness or a paranoia disorder like paranoid schizophrenia. The stalker continues to try to get a hold of the victim from fan mail to threats over Facebook or Twitter profiles.

Today's Technology and Stalking—

Stalking cases have continued to rise with the advancement of technology. 60 percent of stalking cases are ex-partners. With today's technology, social media enables a scorned ex to become obsessed with their previous partner. Facebook can prolong post-breakup pain as well as delaying emotional recovery. Anyone who can read your Twitter tweets can link into your online information. These social networks offer a history about you, which gives an insight into who you really are. Even likes, dislikes, pictures your friends, or a dry sense of humor is all it takes for a potential stalker to decide that they want a relationship with you.

How To Deal With A Stalker:

  • Know what qualifies as stalking.
  • Determine the type of stalker you have.
  • Sense how much danger you could possibly be in.
  • Be observant.
  • Report all incidents—no matter how small you feel they are—to the proper authorities.

Online Stalkers:

  • Understand what being stalked on Facebook might constitute.
  • Be honest and tell them you don't like their posts or attention and report and block them.
  • Look to the intent behind the stalker's motives.
  • Check for possible Facebook signs.
  • Consider your own perception of the Facebook stalking situation.
  • Report it to Facebook.

A stalker aims to destroy your sense of safety and peace of life. They will study and learn to know their victim, make contact, lower their victim's defenses, obligate and gain their victims trust, isolate their victims, attack their victims, eliminate evidence, and finally, escape.

There are articles on the internet that teach someone how to actually stalk someone online. One such article, written by Cady Lang, titled "4 Basic Things To Know Before Embarking on a Social Media Stalk Session" informs readers to do the following steps to be a successful stalker:

"1. Be Strategic about the information you extract IRL.

2. Sign out of all your accounts.

3. Know the correct platforms for the information you want to know, and

4. Get creative with your searches."

She comes right out to say that Twitter and LinkedIn are the best social media to find out a lot about someone .

In conclusion, it is important to keep track of incidents that occur, keep a log, keep anything your receive from a stalker. Take pictures to log flowers or other objects that are perishable. Report it to the proper authorities. If you feel you are being harassed or stalked online go to www.digital-stalking.com for tips on how to protect yourself. Good luck, and be safe.

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  • Seriously Caring2 years ago

    Thank you I found this helpful. I had a bad long term stalker... wish me luck, okay Angel?

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